Braaaaaaaains! (or, How Did You Survive Sleep Deprivation?)
Let's face it: Uninterrupted sleep is a luxury that most new parents don't get. At least, that's what I always heard. I never thought much of it while my wife was pregnant. I always assumed this truth statement and moved on with life, not comprehending what was to come.
After all, I survived college! For example, when I was the managing editor of my college's student newspaper, there were production nights that lasted 30+ hours. Sure, I was delirious and there not a few times when I started losing it and/or hallucinating. During one famous "episode" brought on by sleepless hysteria and stress, I took a black magic marker and labeled everything in my office. Including the walls. Seriously.
But, the one thing that always followed said production night-mare was a long coma-like stretch of sweet, sweet, delicious sleep. After I woke up (occasionally at 5-6 p.m.), all was well with the world. Suffice it to say, that ain't an option anymore. Not only is it hard for me to sleep past 8 a.m. nowadays, I do have a few more responsibilities. That, and I think my job security at America's Leading Magazine for Parents would be in severe jeopardy.
Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter. She is the CUTEST BABY EVAR. I love when she coos and smiles and does cute things with the little hanging toys on her bouncer. I even love calming her down when she's being a bit cranky. But...not having a large chunk of uninterrupted sleep is killing my wife and I. By three o'clock in the afternoon...I'm done for. I long for one of those gourmet sleep sessions that's available up the road a bit.
So, I ask you gals and guys: How did you survive these first few months, and what advice can you offer a sleep-deprived dad who feels as if he should be an extra for Night of the Living Dead?
Sorry Old Friend:
Your sleeping days are over. Father of six and the last one is 12 now... it only gets worse. The advice I can give you is simply "overstating the obvious."
Without sleep, you are angrier because you have not completed the several cycles needed to be refreshed. So you will experience the zombiosis's effects as your body goes through the cycles anyway when you are "awake."
Have you ever waken a buddy in of the middle of the night, and he starts yelling, without inhibition, obscenities at you? He doesn't mean it, and may not even know who you are... that is what the little cherub in the crib is doing to you and wifey every two hours. It has nothing to do with global warming, your relationship with your wife, or your boss. It is the baby's way of telling you the obvious: "I'm hungry, I'm wet,,,"
Thus, it is imperative you both keep watch as a support system, and not try to pull all nighters for outside the family causes for a while. You have to be there for each other as well as for the baby.
Recent studies have proven the perfect amount of uninterrupted sleep for adults is 8.2 hours. Ask your family MD's, they will know as they were deprived of sleep when they were interns. In 8.2 hours the adult goes through the necessary cycles to resurrect the body the next morning.
Do like the Swedes and spend six months home together, so the wee one can learn all the habits you have. She already knows her mother's habits since she was a submariner for those nine months. You may notice your baby gets busy when Mommy gets busy... no?
Asceticism, Aerobic Exercise, .. outdoor family activity for half a year: essentials if you want long term relief.
Why am I so sure? I long suffered from sleep deprivation. I have been diagnosed and told that if I don't do something about it I might be very dead in the next ten years. I have no regrets for trying all the crazy double shift schemes, but I made many boo-boos along the way.
I am still here, and want friends and acquaintanceships to be happy, happy, happy in enjoying their baby's infancy. The only real advice for Dad is "to do less in occupation, and play house as much as possible with your precious little family."
Bless you all, with warmest regards,
Pat Darnell, your fezbook friend..
2 comments:
All of you blessed souls of Old Friend,
Heed the advice and wisdom of this man's words. I can remember his effect on my peer group as I grew through my self-centered approach to life, as a teen.
He always impressed them with ability to separate fact from fiction, half truths and the Truth.
One of the smartest people I have had the Providence to know, George Adams, used to ask me,"Did you see how Patrick handled that?" He was aware of the special quality of "awareness" little brother had even when Pat just a Tween. All I cared about was that he was mine and no one else could have him.
The recipient of fatherly advice in this post is a blessed man with a beautiful family to nurture. Nurturing is not only for women these days. Men must join the process, carry, cuddle and communicate with their kids, regularly. Share the God gift of good grace with them.
When we talk of children, I remember one cold night I was rocking my newborn daughter Jennifer and looking in her eyes.
She had that infant stare, with no focus to speak of. Suddenly I realized my gaze was being returned. We looked into each others eyes until she fell asleep. I was a happy and fulfilled father.
Pato-son and Old Friend you are fathers to be noted. Thanks be to the Father and Master. He reigns.
:and the fact I had to run in the shadow of a champion does not figure in? Your words are telling of inner peace, prosperity and encourage me as usual.
Jennifer was a blessing; happy are fathers who first have daughters, someone wise once said.
:million thanks bro'
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